It's Better This Way

Hmmm..It's already new year of 2011..Wow..I just can't imagine how fast the time fly..Just a while ago I'm having that 'heart' problem again..Am I really a bad influence to him??Hahaha,,Bonus question again..4 me..That a yes,,It's all going well at the beginning until the secret spills OUT!
I'm getting him into trouble again..Getting him hurt..Even though he said that it's alright..But deep inside I know that he is struggling to hold his real feeling about the situation..
Huh!!what a major fuss I am..It's affecting our relationship..But..What relationship????
As far as I know that we're just like brother and sister..
Just the way how we feel is hard to define to others..
I really love him..But..I think it's time 4 us to go with our way now..Not separating..But..Just a 'holiday' 4 us..Away from all the feeling..Things will sort out..I know it will..But only time will tell..
Sometimes I wonder..What is he thinking when he's with me??Is he happy??
I always pray that how I feel deep inside of me is just the same of how he feel towards me..
I just want him to love me whenever he is and whatever happen..
That's a big demand..I know..But..By let us having our own new direction now..I kow that it's better this way than keep hurting by the the unpredictable things..
It;s such a hard thing 4 me to handle coz' I love him truly..
And I'll always pray that it will last with God's will..Amin..
Ana syg abg..ALWAYS..